Conscious Change Consulting
Inspiring change that comes from heart, soul, vision and purpose
and makes a lasting difference...
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Changing How We ‘Do’ Change
There’s a huge need for “change” in the world – in companies and organizations, with customers and staff, in our communities, the environment, our society and world. But are the approaches we’re using really creating the lasting change we want, or reinforcing 'the problem' at a deeper level?
Most often when we talk about change, it’s about changing others. Getting people to waste less, care more, change their habits, act differently, buy differently, make a difference… However, we need to consider carefully what happens when we try to get others to change.
When someone tries to change us, what is our common response?
1) feelings of non-acceptance
2) resistance or anger
3) unwillingness to hear, see or consider
4) grudging acceptance/partial movement, or sometimes active opposition and attacks on the one behind the change.
To overcome these reactions, "change strategies" frequently use power/force, peer pressure, enticement or subtle forms of manipulation to accomplish its goals. And even though these may be very desirable in our eyes, to help us reach our goals, they're often counter-productive – because people's don't want it. They haven't bought in. Their hearts and minds aren't part of the change.
Thus even if we succeed at changing their behaviour – so they do what we want – their underlying thoughts and feelings will likely stay the same, or be even more deeply engrained. And they will revert to their old behaviour, or choose someone else to lead them, buy from, or listen to – when they get the chance.
Think About It...
When was the last time you felt someone tried to impose "their" change on you? It could have been a bank, a postal office, a grocery store, a political party or leader, an environmental or social action group, or a manager at work. Or maybe it was someone who tried to motivate you to do what they wanted, but it didn't feel like it was really in your interest.
On the other hand, when was the last time you did this to someone else? Because that's the real point: We ALL do this at times. We do what's in our interests, and try to get others to go along, but often without considering their interests, needs and motivation.
So how could we "do change" differently?
What would Customer-friendly pricing look like... Staff-led change... Consumer-driven quality... Citizen-inspired policies... Environment-motivated change... Spirit-led choice?
Change from the Inside Out
Suppose that the best change is that which is motivated from within. Change that raises the spirit, grows love and respect, inspires people, improves connection and community, increases willingness to be open, honest and couragous, and that seeks shared interest.
Suppose it was change that people really want, or that comes from their free choice and in their best interests. Change that will interest, excite and motivate them -- or might even touch their hearts and minds, deepest values and better selves? But how do we know what that is, and how do we do it?
Rather than lighting a bonfire to ‘force’ or 'motivate' others to change, I believe the fire we need to light is first within ourselves. To find what values live in us. What moves us to change, make a difference and act in a higher interest. We also need to look at the fears that block us, the reasons we don't want to change, and what issues make us a 'part of the problem’ too.
Then we need to ask -- and listen -- to what other people want. How they think and feel. What matters to and moves them. What they need and care most about. And how they would most want to change, if they were asked or supported to do so.
We then need one more level of asking & listening: to what's in our collective interest. What is it that we all need, financially, socially and environmentally? And what would benefit, enrich, inspire and give all of us some soul-nourishment, so to speak.
It’s a shift from external motivation to internal motivation. From changing others to changing ourselves. From imposing our way on others, to finding what works for others... so we engage each other in our hearts and minds, instead of just 'manipulating' their behaviours.
Want to Know More?
If something here has intrigued you, I'd be delighted to discuss it.
Because it's not just about these ideas,
but what they spark in and how they work for you...
Eric Hellman
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